My dream date with Douglas Alexander

Last night I had another one of my strange dreams and I’m starting to wonder if they’re not induced by my favourite malted milk drink, Horlicks.

Now I’ve never met Douglas Alexander, Shadow Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, but last night he collected me in his 2.0L Mondeo Zetec (in Moondust silver) and whisked me away to The Jack in the Green restaurant at Rockbeare, near Exeter.

I had a lovely braised shoulder of West Country veal with pumpkin risotto,while Douglas plumped for rump, and a 10oz steak with smoked mash potato and peppercorn sauce. He ordered a bottle of light and fruity Pinot Noir and I had an apple and mango J2O.

The conversation was lively. We chatted about the Government’s plans to raise the pension age. He was interested in DBLW’s new electronic cash register. He gave me the inside track on Paisley and Renfrewshire South. I explained why I’m boycotting Hair Today Hair Tomorrow. He laughed when I told him about Flo’s mishap on our recent minibus safari through the Haldon Forest. He had me in stitches with his tales of high jinx in The Department of Transport.

If I’d have been 10 years younger, and Douglas hadn’t been happily married, I would almost certainly have played footsie with the dashing Member but… alas, it was not to be. He took flight at the sound of my Goblin teasmade and I woke up alone. My dream date was just that.

I shall be having an extra large mug of Horlicks tonight in the hope that I can tempt Douglas back to our table, and we can share the sticky toffee pudding with butterscotch sauce that we both drooled over.